woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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