i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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