he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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