I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It was like giving head to a cactus.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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