Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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