Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
