I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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