I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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