how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
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Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
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And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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