i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I am one with the molecules
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
