so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
