Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
