My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i came on her dog
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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