I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
