The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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