508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
