i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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