Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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