there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
