i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
