I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
