She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
