Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
