: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
420 ftw
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize