I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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