Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
