Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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