Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
