24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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