I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize