Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
