He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I looked at my own cervix.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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