They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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