My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
