I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
