I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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