Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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