This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
