How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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