he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
