I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
