so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
