...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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