I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
