i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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