Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
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