This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
