went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
