I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize