we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Randomize
