To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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