If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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