Dual....:-)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
