she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
