I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize