Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
