your room smells of hookers.
And success
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize