you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
