Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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