yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
