wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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