you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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